Sham

The app feels strange, but it can’t beat this weird anxiety and apprehension that I’m currently feeling.

Anyway, isn’t it strange how sometimes, after you catch your dream (one that is supposedly pretty tough to get), you don’t feel a sense of excitement/ elation, but instead, apprehension, insecurity and self-doubt? I guess that’s me now. I mean, I’m extremely excited for what’s to come, but my insecurity just outweighs it. I don’t know which part of me has fitting qualities, and while I’m glad that people saw something good in me that I didn’t see in myself, I can’t help feeling inferior and feeling like a sham.

They told you to try your best and do everything you can so you won’t have any regrets. I did that, I got it. Indeed, I have no regrets. But I’m scared.

Gosh, I hate how I can’t accurately express myself. Maybe I don’t even know what I’m feeling, but what is written doesn’t seem right.

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