It’s the n-th time I’m saying it…

…but I really wish I could study overseas.

It’s not just about going overseas – because spending a semester abroad doesn’t seem as appealing.

It’s not just about going away for a year or more on a one-way ticket – because I could go away for a long period of time for a vacation, but it’s totally different from pursuing an education abroad.

When I learnt about Yale-NUS, it was my first choice for a period of time. I wanted it so badly, I thought I could give up my dream of studying overseas (a dream whose power I have always underestimated). On Jan 15 2015, I was totally heartbroken that the UK dream was officially gone. But I thought Yale-NUS was better than UK, because of the very exciting opportunities that it possesses.

With regard to that, I still think that Yale-NUS has a lot of exciting things going on, both overseas and in Singapore, but isn’t it strange how I’m still not contented? I’m never content with anything, I’ve realised.

I suppose my ideal pathway would be an MFA scholarship > France/UK, because a scholarship is the only way I could go overseas, and a MFA scholarship is the only/ one of the very few bonds that I would want to serve. (Sometimes I’m really jealous of those rich people who get to study overseas on “PM” scholarship…but I wouldn’t want that either cos 1) burden on family and 2) what’s the point? There’s no prestige there, and it doesn’t make it feel like I’m deserving of that spot overseas.)

I really wish I could get a degree abroad… Grad school, I’m coming for you. (And thus shit gets real because grad school and/or MFA = fantastic grades)

I wish all my friends overseas all the very best though – it’s gonna be so hard to leave Singapore for so long, not just the family and friends, but also the country in general.

Last night made me realise how much I love the country, but also how much I really want(ed) to study overseas.

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