A year

A year ago, I went to City Hall for totally different reasons. In 2014, I went there to go to the National Library/ Esplanade Library to study. In 2015, I go there to work.

A year ago, I listened to FranceInfo for totally different reasons. In 2014, it was to hone my listening skills for French ‘A’ Level Exams. In 2015, it is to keep that skill alive as long as possible.

A year ago, I rarely go to Buona Vista. In 2014, it was my first few times there, and it was to go to the Rotisserie with the H2 French students after our ‘A’ Level people. In 2015, it is one of the more convenient places to change to take a train to my destination.

A year ago, I used to go to town a lot. In 2014, it was part of my weekly schedule, and sometimes I would even stop by on my way back home from school. In 2015, I seldom go there – I haven’t been there in weeks.

A year ago, I was on the other side of the East-West line. In 2014, I went to Tampines and occasionally Aljunied. In 2015, I’m either at Clementi or at Buona Vista.

A year ago, I read up on Greek mythology for different reasons. In 2014, it was part of my procrastination where I pretended I was studying for GP when in fact, I was slacking. In 2015, it has become part of my course and sometimes, I procrastinate from doing so.

A year ago, I was sick of different things. In 2014, I was sick of doing the same few Physics and Math questions over and over again, and I was sick of (not doing well in) Economics. In 2015, I am sick of writing assignments. More importantly, however, I may actually be missing the mindless cramming and therapeutic feeling of doing Math questions.

Things have changed so much in a year. I remember scoffing at the seniors for complaining about their workload while the Y6 kids mug mindlessly for the ‘A’ Levels – I don’t take that back. Studying for ‘A’s wasn’t pleasant, even though it got much better towards the end. It made me really anxious, desperate and feeling dejected at times, and just wondering when I will ever be good enough for that damn A, or even whether I was just good enough to pass. That said, I’m not sick of College either – again, I’m just procrastinating from my assignments and readings. I really miss my friends from DHS though – I miss watching them study intensely at Starbucks/ the library, and I miss ranting about how much I haven’t done/ how much I don’t know/ what I don’t know I don’t know, and taking long routes/ having late supper as an (undeserved) reward for ‘studying’.

Also, I feel like I’m not making use of the opportunities here at Yale-NUS, and I don’t want to regret it. I feel like I’m not stepping out of my comfort zone enough, and that there are a lot of resources that I have not been using.

I need to get my life sorted out, even though life can’t really be sorted out.

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