It feels quite amusing to be stuck in the middle of a very subtle power struggle, barring the fact that now I have more Whatsapp chat groups than I want with the same few people…
Playing ignorant can only work for a short period of time, but that’s all I can do right now, without putting anyone on the spot/ putting myself in the middle.
On a more serious note though, it is important to have great social skills and not be pretentious/ obnoxious because the latter can be a turn-off sometimes and make people feel uncomfortable responding to you. On the other hand, being friendly and sociable makes you seem approachable and more accepting of others. Besides, it’s always easier to be cheerful and jolly than talk about serious issues in a very pretentious/ formal tone.
On a similar note, I went to help out with the registration process for the Migrant Workers event. I am very impressed and inspired by Reg’s cheerful, outgoing and genuine personality that allows her to connect with anyone, from random strangers at FoodClique to migrant workers at the restaurant and to volunteers there. It’s inspiring and it’s a trait that I wish I could learn/ adopt.
But I’ve come to realise that I should stop trying to imitate other people and their traits, no matter how interesting and quirky they are, because that’s just not me. And I want to be me, I want to be liked for being myself.
At the same time, I need to stop being easily affected by what others think of me. I saw a quote recently – something about how ‘don’t think about what others think of you, realise how little they do’ (something like that; it was put way more eloquently than that phrase I came up with) I’ve realised recently that I can’t control my emotions well when I feel like I might have done something wrong (even though that might not even be true) – I would feel embarrassed and paiseh talking – or even seeing – that person, worried that he/she would be annoyed by me, or have a bad impression of me.
But it’s time to realise, and remember, that not everyone will like you. And if everyone does like you, it probably says something about your own character (or lack thereof) as well. Not everyone will like you. Some will even dislike you. But that’s fine, and I need to get that into my head.
That said, I certainly wish that people will form good impressions though.