I look into the distance from my room window, and I see blocks and blocks of HDB flats, in which people -strangers- live. Then I look at my screen, and I see lots and lots of contacts, one of whom is my boss.
And then I -again- started wondering how old he was when he started the business. Probably around his late 20s/ early 30s, right? I’m entering my 20th year of existence soon, so that age is actually not too far off from my current age. It’s so easy to think about how people should behave and envision how life would be like 5 years, 10 years down the road. But then we just stop there without thinking about how to get there. The process and the mindset that you ought to have in order to achieve those.
And now I’m thinking about how I want my life to be like. Work in my ideal workplace? Sure. But how am I going to get there? And if I don’t work there, then what am I going to do? And y’know, regardless of whether I actually work there, is that all I want in life? To just go to work and go home? (On this note, is my life now – and before – really how I had envisioned my later education years to be like? Just going to school and going home?)
The point I’m trying to make here is that life seems mundane and pointless if you just stick to the norm and do what everyone’s doing. It’s easy to go through the routine, and hopefully achieve ‘conventional’ success, but is that really the success you want? Or do you want more life and more experiences?
Every single time my thoughts end up on this note, I would feel guilty for thinking like that. Given my background, I should not have the choice of choosing uncharted paths over conventional success, because the latter is what they need and what I ought to achieve to improve situations. But are these two really irreconcilable? Is the former really a privilege that not everyone gets?
I’m confused. I want both.