So I just wrote something after a long while, and I realised that I seem to write better when I type things out? Like, the English seems better. Or maybe I’m just in the writing mood right now.

In other news, so much work to do after slacking the entire weekend away!!! FOS, Spanish, IR and MST…

I feel like this week should ideally be a brand new start, now that I’ve gotten two things off my mind, heart and schedule – Bookstore and work. Coincidentally (or not), both are business-related. I guess I’m just reaffirming my belief and stand that this isn’t a path for me 🙂 Closing these 2 doors in my life…

Speaking of closed/closing doors, remember how I did badly for Physics and even thought of retaking A level Physics to prove to myself one last time that Science is something that I can do after I had shut the door on Chemistry at Sec 4? Well, seems like the Chemistry door was ajar after all 🙂 For that, I’m glad that I have another opportunity to learn legit Science and see how I fare in it!

But honestly, it isn’t easy at all. Science has never been an easy subject for me (not even in Primary 3), but this time, the challenge is two-fold. The first is obviously the content. The second is what is truly hard for me: the emotions associated with me studying science. I know I sound melodramatic, but it seriously feels like a confluence of several emotions: the anxiety of seeing concepts that I had thought I had grapsed (but actually didn’t), the personal hopes and expectations of doing decently, the worry that I won’t be able to match up to my expectations, the strong desire to do very well, the nagging thought that maybe (just maybe) I simply can’t do Science after all, the constant comparison with my peers (like if they can do it, why can’t I) etc., alongside the usual stress and laziness and procrastination associated with studying. It helps that I seem to have a great prof but it doesn’t help that most (if not all) of my class has done Chemistry in high school… (I know right, isn’t this supposed to be an artsy college?!)

Ok end of rambling, I’m gonna drink my coffee in preparation for a long, long night ahead 🙂


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